Today there was an accident on my street. It took me a while to figure it out. I noticed a really deep hole in the dirt next to the sidewalk on Bushwick Ave and my mother thought to myself, “somebody’s gonna fall in there and get hurt.” Then i saw a bunch of snaggle tooth rod iron fence pieces lying on the ground. I didn’t really think anything of it because I know where I live and I know what it looks like around here. pretty snaggle tooth. Then i saw a white cargo van parked in the dirt near the mom hole. I saw a crowd of people. I was passing the scene, just focused on getting to the deli with the seltzer. schweppes. it was a thousand degrees outside and it was a thousand degrees in my apartment that i had just slept in all night and i knew both the deli and the seltzer would have central air conditioning. i wasn’t raised with a window unit.

after i passed the hole and the van, I looked behind me, and it was the pool of blood that finally had its way with my powers of deduction. a pool of blood coming from the tire. like the van was bleeding. the van was the only body i saw. and some nervous, pacing people’s bodies that seemed uninvolved directly in the accident. they were sweating. but we all were. there was a pool of sweat on my mattress this morning. like my egyptian cotton sheets were sweating. there’s an ink stain on them from when jim leija left a pen on my bed. there’s a blood stain on them from when god decided to give me the kind of private parts i have. and have always had. and probably will have forever.

you can’t really do anything when you see an accident except for have feelings about mortality.

during all of this, i was walking with becca and i thought she should probably start wearing a helmet. cause she rides her bike a lot. but i also felt real fuck a helmet. part of what’s thrilling about riding a bike is treating it like it’s a foot crank convertible. can you imagine wearing a helmet in a convertible? can you imagine wearing a seat belt on your throat?

what’s more dangerous? a head injury or never feeling the way Leonardo Dicaprio felt when he took the mermaid position on the Titanic and screamed “i’m the king of the world?”