It was cold all night. I left my window open because my radiator is a temperature dominatrix and I like to let a window be a safe word.
I want to try a different coffee shop today in an effort to try a different life. Maybe not even get a soy latte. I heard there was a place that sold chicory coffee near me.
When I was moving away from Michigan, I had no specific plans or goals. I gave myself two options. New York City or New Orleans. Michigan doesn’t have the word “New” in it, so I knew i had to go somewhere that did. I had visited New York City once before to perform a show at the Guggenheim. Sounds fancy, but we stayed at a YMCA in bunk beds and I got so drunk at an Irish Pub I woke up and found more than one tampon inside of me. I guess that was the clincher. I chose New York.
There’s a picture of Judy Garland in my bedroom and a calendar I made so I could give myself stickers for everyday i do a p90x work-out.
I made my bed this morning. I do that now in New York.
When I was little, my Aunt Pat gave me a a teddy bear dressed in a nurse’s uniform. I looked at it and saw some kind of future. I don’t mean that I explicitly thought I would become a teddy bear nurse or even a nurse, but that for some reason, i felt like a stuffed animal in an employer uniform was a weird hint. Aunt Pat was the only woman in my family who had a job. My mom, Aunt Chris, and Aunt Ruth were all homemakers. Aunt Jo was a nun, and that just felt like she was a different gender than the rest of the world, and that that was a job, and that job meant having short grey hair, singing way louder than other people at church, and joyously playing Kings In The Corner with me and Granddad on Thanksgiving.
When you’re a kid, people want to know what you want to be when you grow up. Given my options, I obviously wanted to be a nun.
(I think it’s important to note that a subletter in my apartment who does a lot of coke is doing what sounds like filing his nails really really fast in the room next door to mine.)
I’m not a nun. And I’m grown up. I’m an artist who accidentally took the vow of poverty.
The difference between taking the vow of poverty as a clergy member and accidentally taking the vow of poverty as an artist, is that, as a clergy member, you get to make up a meager budget that covers all of your basic needs. Rome pays for it. Nothing extravagant. Shelter. Medical. Food. Utilities. Car. Gas. Stuff like that. You work related to what you specialized in, medical, administrative, etc. in the context of your spiritual practice.
Rome doesn’t pay for my art.
But here I am dressed as an elderly teddy bear. Reading a monologue at an art party. a few years ago.
it is mine, and now it can be yours. the first reading of my newest musical PLUS special San Francisco guests. Read on for details.
thursday, feb 25 @8pm
THE DARDY FAMILY HOME MOVIES BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM
by erin markey
Cole Escola (LOGO)
Bridget Everett (Joe’s Pub)
Elizabeth Hoyt (Under the Radar)
Joseph Keckler (New Museum)
Erin Markey (Hell)
Jeffery Self (LOGO)
The Dardy kids are leaving the nest, but they’ve forgotten their entire childhoods on VHS. Now mom, Molly Dardy, has to find a place for it all. Too bad everywhere is a good place. A dark musical comedy based in a small industrial city in dark musical Michigan: Saginaw.
HOW ARE US?
tara jepsen and beth lisick
Turning an insolent gaze at the petty undertakings of femalia and regarding the chemical stink that is hormones and pleasure by Beth & Tara.
Tara Jepsen and Beth Lisick have been lady comediennes together since 1999. They have performed at endless events, festivals and fundraisers, including Billionaires for Bush, NYC’s Dixon Place, Homo-a-Gogo, and in a vegan’s living room in Santa Barbara. Their award-winning short film Diving for Pearls was taken down from You Tube for an unstated offense, probably nudity or the portrayal of women as ugly. It is now here: http://blip.tv/file/2428930